I've Showed Up Again

Oh hey look, guys! I'm writing another post about the Military.....Sigh i need a life. I promise i'll write about Cali vacation and the engagement towards the end of this week. I'm not feeling like that over achiever type this week. I'm just trying to survive it until i land on a bar stool Saturday, if we're being honest.

Man, oh man, the dreaded time is here. AWESOME! I'm harboring some very mixed emotions on how to feel this week. Deployment is here. We knew it was coming, we prepared for it coming, yet it is still seeming to be such a shock, for me at least. I am so ready for this time to be here, and still so unready for this time to be here. Seriously i'm wondering these days if all spouses lose their ever loving mind during deployment time or if it is just me. Because y'all i feel crazy. Flip flopping from on the verge of tears, to laughing, to being angry, bitter, oh my god i am feeling all the feels. Well now that we got the fact that i am psycho out of the way, lets just move on and pretend i'm normal.

Deployment is underway, so now comes the fun part. Thankfully this totally sucky part of military life is happening during the summer, which is undoubtedly a really busy time for me. Last year i traveled every weekend from May until September, with a few bigger vacations in between weekend trips. Y'all i LOVE to travel, i love to stay busy, and go, and see, and do. I have full intentions of this Summer being equally as amazing since it will be my last "normal Summer" on the East Coast. I have a few trips already planned like Myrtle Beach at the end of April and Jacksonville/Topsail/Wilmington for July 4th week/weekend to celebrate my Birthday. I'm looking forward to those and counting down the days.

It is official and i will be moving to the good ol' left coast to be with Brendon in September. He won't be coming home until October as it is slated now, but i want to make sure i am there and our home is all set up before he gets there, so he has a refreshing place to land, decompress, and unwind from hell. Also, i just miss California and can't wait to be back and get into normal routines of life in sunny San Diego. So yea, that is going to keep my life pretty busy the next few months. Trying to organize a cross country move, by an anxiety ridden person, oh this is going to be fun.

Did i mention i'm also ENGAGED! So on top of the 5 millions people i should be so thankful for, that care about Brendon and i enough to constantly ask questions regarding his deployment, i am dodging wedding questions left and right. I feel like i am dodging everyone who is not my parents or best friends, because if i have to answer one more question i may go off the deep end. It's hard enough for me to live the day to day in the world and act normal, when nothing about my life is normal, and i am being reminded of that fact every 12 seconds by questions. I am grateful people love us and care, but for the love of all things holy give it a rest. No we have not set a date, no most likely we will not, no you won't be invited, yes he is deploying, yes he is coming home, yes we will cross bridges as we get to them, yes, yes, yes, i am losing my ever loving mind!

So this is a post of straight jibberish, but Brendon informed me that i need to start writing again. Hi babe! So look at me being all adult like and showing up two days in a row! Kudos to me! Now someone make me brownies and give me all my points! Sigh.... Brownies, donuts, pizza, y'all i joined the gym determined not to get fat during deployment. I haven't been once. Oops! It's not the week........LOL.