Girls Are Weird

Girls are weird. It's a statement i make all too often, and one that my sweet friend Katie finds it HILARIOUS. Can i get an amen though!? We're complex, confusing, and down right crazy more times than not. I have to laugh because usually i don't even understand why i am acting or saying the things i do, yet the crazy alter ego of mine persists that i should say it. Let's be clear, you usually shouldn't say it. Girls are just so weird.
 

I will be the first to shout to the world that i pretty much consider my life a fairytale. It's true. I lead an amazing life, with an honorable man by my side, a decent career, and all the family and friends i could ever possibly dream of. The ugly villain of my story just happens to be the Marine Corps. That poor villain ruins everything and makes me insanely crazy ninety-nine percent of the time. However i like to remind myself that i have never read a fairytale with a sad ending. If you have, i'll pray for you, but this is my fairytale and it ends how i say it ends. Not to spoil the story, but it ends happy. Oneday.....
 

While i spend a lot of time in fantasy land i also strive to be transparent, not only with myself but also with others, and i intend for this little space of mine on the interwebz to be the same way. My life is great, sunshine, rainbows, and butterflies, but just like everyone else i am human, i struggle and my relationship struggles. We're not perfect, we don't claim to be, and we never will be. Point blank and period. Living on completely opposite coasts of the United States makes everything more difficult. The number one main necessity in our relationship is communication. It's all we have and we struggle on some days with it and succeed on others. The thing about it though is that communication is key in any relationship, not just long distance. Communication is the barrier breaker when two people are in one relationship, yet see totally different things. It's a struggle and a triumph contacted into one word.

Point.....i swear i have a point to this. Oh yeah, girls are weird, that's my point. I'll speak personally and recognize the fact that i just flat out don't communicate well. I get mad and close up shop. Wait, you don't understand why i'm mad? Okay, then you don't deserve to know. Girls, we don't understand ourselves yet we expect men to understand us. I have not a single clue why i cannot call Brendon up and say very simply and kindly (HA!), "look, you did this and it ticked me off, let's talk about it". I cannot do it. Pride, ego, anxiety, who knows, but i cannot do it. So instead i put myself and him through sheer agony with my one word answers, saying "it's fine" repetitively like my life depends on the mere sentence, and dropping the "i" before love you. It's sad but oh so true. He knows that i am upset or mad when i leave out the 'i" in "i love you". I'm am so ridiculous. We also are very stubborn, ladies. You ever wake up after an argument or something that upset with your significant other, and you just want to be mad. It's like your sole purpose that day is to set out and ruin his day. You just want to be mad. You want him to know your mad and understand why your mad, even though you have no clue why you're even really mad. It's such an exhausting and ridiculously silly cycle that we put ourselves and our poor guys through. Now i know that i am not the only one who does these silly things or other ridiculous ways. We're weird creatures, there is no other way to put it. We make no sense to ourselves or our guys.
 

Brendon is a saint. The things he deals with from me on a daily basis would be enough for any sane person to send me straight to the mental hospital. But alas he loves me and he loves me good, despite all my dramatic, emotional, crazy rants and raves. Back to my fairytale.....ahem, i am blessed and he is an amazing man!